Stomping grounds, ahoy!

I took the ferry from P-Town, a big step for me since it would be a huge understatement to say that boats make me nervous. They actually terrify me. Well, not so much the boat itself, but being on one, and knowing it could sink or toss me overboard at any second. It not that I get seasick - I don't even give myself the chance to be seasick. It's more seanxiety. Despite a few fairly rocky spots, the ride was fine, and I was one of only about 10 passengers - on a boat meant for 150 or so, it felt pretty spacious.

I went back to my old neighborhood, for a quick 2-night visit. I had a few mundane appointments to take care of (good news: no cavities!), but otherwise got to see some friends and former coworkers, and just hang out. I thought it would be bittersweet, and maybe it is a little - oh Dave's Fresh Pasta, how I miss thee! - but less than I expected. It's like seeing a dear friend that you miss, but not necessarily pining to see them everyday. The prospect of ADVENTURE! is still too alluring for that just yet.

I'm actually typing this up right now from 35,998 feet above Chicago - I love the little in-flight map that shows you where you are. Pair that with onboard wifi and, well, a six hour flight ain't so bad. After two nights under two different roofs, I'm heading out to San Fran for a few days to celebrate Hannah's birthday! (And to drink coffee from the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Constantly. Why - WHY don't they open some locations on the East coast?) I am crazy person when it comes to getting to the airport; like the movies, I feel compelled to arrive obscenely early. I left Charlestown this morning at 6am for an 8:40 flight. By 6:12 I was at the airport, checked in, and deciding whether to sit at Starbucks in the terminal, or go through security. After staring into space for Idontevenknowhowlong, I went through security. Where I was the only person. 15 seconds later I was through security and sitting at the gate. By myself. With just under two hours to waste before boarding. Such good planning! Though I would rather be 2 hours early than 5 minutes late, so there you have it. I guess some things I just can't change. I think it must partially comes from my excitement and anticipation of the trip. For all of the delays, lost luggage, and sharing 200 strangers' personal space for hours and hours, I still love flying.

I am SO excited to get to San Fran, but I slept wrong or something the other night, and now it hurts to look to the left. I'll be spending the next few days orbiting people like their own personal satellite, trying to keep them on my starboard side.

Happy sigh

I wish I could bottle days like today, to store them on the shelf, and take them out again to relive or just brighten up an otherwise dull day.

What made today so great? 80 degrees and no humidity. Cloudless blue sky. Sitting on the deck in the sun all morning. Hot dogs on the BBQ for lunch. Sitting in the yard in the sun all afternoon with the puppy. Modified snack hop for dinner at my two favorite local restaurants that will be closing for the season after this week. Now I have a cup of tea made by my husband (which, according to science, tastes better when made by someone else for you. Thanks, science!), and we're going to watch a movie.

Not the most exciting day, but a perfectly contented one.

Doing my homework.

Unemployment.

I quit my job at the end of August, and though the first few weeks were a flurry of activity - moving out! wedding at the ends of the earth in Maine! moving to the Cape! - the ensuing weeks have been at a bit slower pace.

Unemployment is a funny thing. On the one hand, it feels sort of like a vacation, and I just want to relax. On the other hand, I know myself and that can easily I slip from "relaxing" to "obscenely lazy".

I got myself into a pretty good schedule pretty quickly, or rather, as much of a schedule as I could manage while being "funemployed". The weather on the Cape in the autumn is just beautiful, without the hassle of the crowds that come with the summer months, and so far it's stayed pretty warm. It was a few weeks of going for a run regularly, taking the dog to the dog park in Provincetown, going swimming, going to the beach, hitting the library, etc. Then I hit The Wall.

It started after a fun weekend with some girlfriends that came to visit, and I felt like I needed a day of recovery, so I parked myself in front of the TV for the day.

And that turned into two days.

And it snowballed from there to where I hadn't showered and was wearing the same pants for 4 days in a row. I watched so much bad TV, I could feel my brain cells dying. It didn't feel good, I didn't feel relaxed; I felt like an invalid, like a disgusting sloth. And yet, I couldn't pull myself out of it.

Luckily, another friend was coming to visit, so I managed to get it together before she arrived, and since then have gotten back onto my "schedule". But still. MAN, what was that?!

I consider myself incredibly lucky, that I have this time to be unemployed, without actively looking for work. I want to use the time wisely, and better myself, or work on a project that I wouldn't normally have time for when working full time, and yet I'm here on the Cape! It's so relaxing here, it's almost like a drug. I guess I'm just looking for balance. There are no external forces telling me what to do or when, no policing of my time, no real responsibilities for me to blame for my lack of time to work on what I want. Instead, the question looms large: what do I want?

This is a huge part of what we're doing; why we left our house, why I quit my job, why we're moving to Australia. What do I want? What do we want? What have we been doing that we can live without? What makes us happy? Big questions. Important questions. I feel like they should be easy questions. But they're not.

In the meantime, we still don't have a place to live in Australia. I'm not sure if we will before we arrive there in mid-November. Have you ever had to apartment search from a difference hemisphere? It's incredibly disconcerting, thinking about committing to living in a place that you haven't seen in person. It's a study in trusting humanity. On the one hand, I do believe that most people are good and trustworthy. On the other hand, crazy people flock to the Internet like seagulls to my french fries, and it's hard to tell if they're on the up-and-up. Especially if they misspell things in their apartment ad. I guess for me, good grammar and spelling equals trustworthiness?

However, almost equally disconcerting is moving 10,000 miles away without knowing you have a place to live when you land. QUANDARY.

What I did on my autumn vacation.

I used to think of Sundays as my catch-up day, or my sit-around-and-do-nothing-and-semi-dread-going-to-work-the-next-day day. But since we've been on the Cape, Sunday doesn't "feel" any different than any other day. But today really felt like we were on vacation.

Granted, I've been on "vacation" (cough*unemployed*cough) since the end of August, but today really felt like it. My sister and I went on a run this morning around Wellfleet - I'm relatively new to running, and have a few discouraging experiences lately, so it was great to run with her and get over my mental block. It was chilly and rainy when we started, but by the time we were finished the sun was starting to peek through. My sister and parents left by around noon, and it had turned into a full-on sunny day! Forecast be damned!

After spending a few hours sitting in the sun in the front yard, my husband and I went mini-golfing, the quintessential Cape activity. I always manage to start strong in mini-golf, and then get progressively worse as I play. Today was no exception.

On the second hole, I got a hole in one!

But by the 12th hole, I was 2, 3 or (ugh) even 4 over par. I lost, but not by a huge margin. It was still super fun!

Then we went for a drive on some back roads in the next town over...which I unfortunately didn't get any pictures of, since I was driving. But we saw some incredibly gorgeous scenery - I can't believe it's practically in our backyard, and I had no idea! We also saw a flock of wild turkeys; 18 of them! I actually stopped the car in the middle of the road and reversed back down to take pictures from the car. I even made gobble noises out the window at them; a few sort of looked up when I did it, but then went right back to...scratching in the dirt, or whatever it was they were doing.

For dinner we went to a local restaurant that we had never tried before, The Wicked Oyster. It was AMAZING. Everything from the whole roasted garlic that were served with the bread, to the amazing entrees (I had panko-crusted sole. So delish.), to the creme brûlée, it was all fantastic. It was a total indulgence, and totally worth it. I can't believe it took us so long to try it!

What a great vacation day! 

I like it here.

Stop me if you've heard this one.

My husband and I worked incredibly hard on the house we bought about 4 years ago; it was a fixer-upper just on the edge of a very cool neighborhood, an area we love. We gut-renovated the kitchen and dining room while planning our wedding -- an "interesting choice", as my friend Sara would call it -- and in the three years since, have done another handful of projects: re-sodding the yard, refinishing the stairs, replacing some bathroom fixtures, and redesigning the guest room. 

A few months ago, we decided to leave it -- and most of our other wordily possessions, along with my job, our pets, and my family  -- behind and move 10,000 miles away.

We packed what we could into a few suitcases and now here I am, temporarily living in a friend's borrowed house, while a family of strangers lives in our home, while I search for another stranger to let us call their house "home".

While how (and why?!) we got here is another story for another post, it's not nearly as interesting as where we're going.

Or that's the hope, anyway.